An All Lives Matter Satire


Main Characters: Jake, Nikki, Jackie, and Karen

Setting: A group of people are having a party at a bonfire; everyone is dancing and having fun.

Jake is dancing wildy and the sleeve of his shirt catches on fire

Nikki: Oh my God, Jake you’re on fire!!

Jake (continues dancing): Well I am an amazing dancer.

Karen rolls her eyes.

Jackie: No, Jake like, you’re literally on fire!

Jake (while looking at his shirt): OH MY GOD I’M ON FIRE!!

Jackie goes to get the hose and first aid kit while Nikki helps Jake take off his shirt. 

Jake: OW! my arm!

Nikki: Don’t rub it, you’re gonna make it worse.

Karen begins to take her shirt off as well, and Jackie comes back with the hose and first aid kit. She puts out his shirt and hands Nikki a bottle neosporin.

Jackie: (To Karen) Um..why are you taking off your shirt?

Karen: So you can put water on it.

Nikki: But…your shirt isn’t on fire…

Karen: So? My shirt matters too.

Jackie: Well, yeah it does, but Jake’s shirt was on fire…yours wasn’t.

Karen stares in utter disbelief and puts her shirt back on. Nikki begins to pour water on Jake’s arm and opens the neosporin.

Karen (while holding her arm out): Put some on my arm too.

Nikki: Why?

Karen: Well you’re putting it on Jake’s arm.

Nikki: Because he burned his arm.

Karen: Yeah but, my arm still matters. 

Jackie: No one said that it didn’t…his arm has burns, and we need to treat it before it gets worse..

Karen: *scoffs* Okay ALL arms matter!

Nikki, Jackie and Jake look at Jake’s burns, then look at Karen in utter disbelief.

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